Love

My heart is so full, I can’t stand it.  As I think about the past few years, it’s becoming hard to remember the sadness I felt at the possibility that we may not have any more children and the feeling of loss, of being lost.  A year ago in December it was my turn to teach a lesson at church, on anything I felt inspired to talk about.  I remember it was early December and our first try at IUI failed and there I was late Saturday night, crying on my couch trying to figure out what in the world to teach the next day.  I knew I wanted to talk about LOVE, because that is what was closest to me at the time, needing to feel GOD’s love in my life.  I was “freaking out” and finally I said a prayer to Heavenly Father asking him to help me teach a lesson about HIM.  I have had very few experiences in my life where I felt total peace from the Spirit, and this would be counted as one of them.  What a precious feeling.  So I wiped away my tears and got to work.  Unfulfilled wishes, trials, mistakes…The greatest gift in this life is to feel the LOVE of God, to know that I am his child and no matter what happens, HE loves me.  It was such a gift to have that experience and it helped me face the possibility that we may always be a family of 3 and that it was OKAY.  It would be okay no matter what happened.  On Christmas Eve morning we were visiting our Utah family and I decided to take my pregnancy test a day early and you know the rest of the story.  As I think about LOVE and the love I have for my children I can’t begin to imagine the love our Heavenly Father has for us.  Having our two babies has been such a blessing, I love them to the moon and back.